I had a wavering confidence years ago. Was I really good enough? I just felt a little below what I wanted to be. No one in my life thought I was good at anything. I felt a little down, but kept on doing, trying, hoping that somehow I would be a success in my life.
In 2015, I bravely went on a couple of writing websites and expressed my interest in writing life stories. Literally within hours of putting it out there on a website, I had a phone call from someone wanting his father’s story told.
I went to the first meeting of the family, the man, his wife and the son, and I had with me a writing friend. I was offered the opportunity to write the story of the man. It was unbelievable.
In the following weeks, I met with the family and learned the story. It was about five weeks after our first meeting that the son said I should go to Ireland to continue the research. Mmm. I didn’t have the money, and I felt that I was treading water about to sink! My comment at the time was simply “Yes, probably a good idea” or something equally vague.
That night the son phoned me around 9 pm. “How does September 2nd sound?” he asked. He had made a tentative booking for me to fly from Australia via Los Angeles and London to Dublin. I was shocked! I had 24 hours to let him know. He would pay the fare, and arrange family members for me to stay within Ireland, but other expenses were up to me.
Of course, I said “yes” and then set to work out how I could manage it. Financially it worked out – I won a contract to write a piece for a local government agency, a local man for whom I had been writing content for his website invited me for coffee and gave me an envelope full of cash (and he had no idea how much this gesture meant to me!) and my father, a typical Scottish “tight with money bloke” gave me $2000. No one knew that all this money was essential for me to take on the Irish trip.
As September 2nd approached, I was confident I had the money, but totally freaked by the idea that I would be going alone on such a journey, and had to drive solo around Ireland to do the research and in the days before takeoff, my heart was racing at double its normal speed and I felt I would die before I reached the plane. There were some other big issues in my life at the time too, but somehow I got everything done and with heart still on overdrive, I left Brisbane on the flight via New Zealand. On my own! What an earth was I doing I asked myself????
I won’t go into detail about this amazing journey at this point, because this post is not about my journey then, and subsequent overseas trips, but about the CONFIDENCE I gained out of it. I learned that I could do things on my own. I learned I could cope with strange experiences.
When people ask me about my amazing journeys since, I often go back to the time I gained confidence. Often it is just facing your fears and doing it. I did. I have had quite a few amazing overseas journeys since. I have done other things that way back in early 2005 I would have thought beyond my capabilities. I still fight the demons at times, but I will always give it a go!!