Do you experience loneliness?

I think many of us do, especially as we age.  My story about my loneliness may be similar to others, or may not. Let me explain. I was the eldest of the only two in my family – four years older than my sister. By the time I had completed my primary school years, I had been to three schools.  My sister only attended one.

I sometimes wish that there had been less difference in our ages – if I had only been a year or two older, we would perhaps have had a greater connection. We were very different, which presented some problems.

When I was 18 I left home – to go to the country to train as a nurse, and my sister and I never lived in the same house together again. Her teenage years were very lonely, as were mine, but for different reasons.

I still have some great connections from my nursing training days, but none of them live near me. I married in 1967 and never lived in the same state as my parents, sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Though to this day have some friends dating back to 1949, but of course, I live many miles from them.

My husband’s work meant that we moved a lot – three different states, back and forth and he was often away on business, so I brought the children up mostly on my own. No parents to babysit, advise, or share stories with, unlike my sister who always lived near our parents.

Community Activities

While there were many times I felt a little lonely, it did not play on my mind. We usually had good neighbours and I had many friends, but they weren’t always long-term ones, because we moved so often. I did get involved in a range of community organisations including Quota International, local networking groups, and writing groups, some of which I have maintained membership. I kept busy.

From 2005 to 2010 I travelled a lot and worked in China and Korea. Our children had left home, and I was often on my own, so kept busy – studying, working, writing etc.

Marriage Breakup

Now I was on my own totally. I house-sat for several years and then moved into a unit on my own. I often had visitors – friends from Australia and overseas. But the rents kept going up and I ended up in a one-bedroom unit in a group of seniors who clearly don’t like socialising. Why do they like sleeping and watching television all day without communicating with others?

I still have a lot of friends, but there’s no bestie. I see my children regularly, but essentially briefly as they are busy with work, family and so on. My childhood friends have made their own lives and though we communicate via email and Facebook, it is not the same as having a close friend to share ideas, stories, disappointments and more.

I travel a lot – and always on my own. In part because I am a painful traveller as I am always stopping to take photographs!

There has been a lot of research about the Loneliness Pandemic, much of it recently blamed on the Covid-19 Pandemic, but it is much more than that.  Is it the fact that people are always playing with their phones or tablet, or watching bigger screens? Is it that they don’t know how to make friends anymore?

Much more research is needed for it does affect health and well-being.  We need to solve the problem quickly.

What do you think?