Domestic Violence – Some Thoughts

Domestic Violence is a subject getting a whole lot of interest at the moment.  Clearly the statistics of the murders of women by their supposed “loved ones” is very upsetting.

More than a million women had experienced physical or sexual assault by their male current or ex-partner since the age of 15 (some women may be counted twice if they experienced both physical and sexual assault).  Source Domestic Violence

I often chat with women around my age about their lives.  Many of my friends are solo, usually divorced but some of them were widowed.  For those of us who were born in the 1940’s, and 1950’s, we married at a time when the husband was head of the household.  He was “king”.  After marriage, unless one had a career or qualification, few women worked.  If they had children, they stayed at home to care for them.  They seldom had a choice but to rely on the income from their husband.

Sex Education

Many of us went into marriage so unprepared for what our future would be.  We had had little or no sex education, in fact, limited education of any kind.  Few women went on to further study – and in so many ways, women were totally unprepared for the life that they would lead.

We did have good knowledge of “domestic studies” – for most of us would have had the compulsory education. Certainly, women who lived in major towns or cities would have done this.  We had “Domestic Science” studies, and learned about cooking (albeit fairly basic), housekeeping – which included cleaning, managing the laundry etc.  Sex education within this subject might have been helpful.  Women did not know what was the right way to participate.

I know of one woman who was never given any sex education by her mother.  She did not ask any questions of her mother, who may have thought that she knew about such things.  The other sister had one Anatomy and Physiology at school, and knew that men and women were different.  The younger sister didn’t even know that boys and girls had different body parts until she was in her 20’s.  Why would she know?  She didn’t have a brother, and never saw her father in the nude!!

Women were supposed to be subservient.

Many occupations in the early days did not allow married or pregnant women to continue working.  It was certainly a rule for student nurses, and teaching also had similar rules.

Women were subservient to their spouses.  The wedding ceremony included the words “to love honour and obey”!!

Our mothers had had less preparation than we did, and most were of little help to use when we married.

One day I may get to record some of the stories – it would make interesting reading – of the way their marriages ended up.  It is alarming to learn of the high incidence of domestic violence experienced by people I know.

The issues in marriage were not always physical abuse – though I suspect that is more prevalent than records indicate.  Women often had to do as they were told,  and often denied access to finances, etc.  The number of men who use the facilities of brothels – but the money that they “manage” on behalf of the family was used for this and for their frequent visits to hotels.  The women usually came off second best.

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About Di Hill

My business card says "Writer, Traveller, Camera Addict, Bamboo Fan, Workshop Presenter." This website will focus on my writing - and the workshops I present. Workshops on Blogging, Marketing for Writers, and Life Story Writing.
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