How I came to Obituary Writing

My journey to Obituary Writing is a long story.  Way back in the 1960’s I was a trainee nurse at Mt Gambier Hospital, in the southeast of South Australia.  It is not the same hospital that exists now in “The Mount” but a building that was fairly new at the time, on the side of the extinct volcano, which became the Valley Lake.

During my training I worked in every ward in the hospital and it was while working in the female medical ward that I met a lady who spent her last days with us.  I remember sitting and talking with her and she told me of her childhood and her career as a prostitute.  Now as I was in my late teens, I was a big gobsmacked to hear her story, and she did tell me of one of her clients.  A famous man, in the early 1900’s.  I never mention his name, for I do not know if it was true.  But I was fascinated by her story and said words that would haunt me years later.  “Someone should write your story.”

I was a prolific writer in my youth, letters to penfriends around the world, and stories for the ABC children’s program, but it wasn’t until much, much later, that I started writing stories.  I was always fascinated by life stories.  I read a lot of real life stories, not much of fiction.

Somewhere in the late 1990’s I became interested in obituaries.  When I mention this topic, many people suggest I am morbid or similar, but I often repeat these popular words, that death is actually part of life, and I am not interested in death, so much as the story of someone’s life.

The International Society of Obituary Writers

I don’t recall finding this organisation on-line,  but I certainly did and joined the organisation.  I confess, I am not really an obituary writer, though I have had one published that I wrote about a friend from my days in Beachmere.

Around about this time, I discovered Dr Nigel Starck and his book, Life After Death, a copy of which I have and treasure.  One day when I was in Adelaide I arranged to meet him, and did so in a coffee shop in Glenelg, a seaside suburb of Adelaide.

In 2017, Tim Bullamore contacted me, and asked me to arrange a speaking engagement in Brisbane, which I did.  I met this amazingly successful obituary writer from London.  Some months ago he contact me again, and again I arranged him to speak at the Brisbane Square Library on August 14th, 2022.

After his talk, he and another obituary writer and I went to lunch in the Brisbane Mall.

Me, Tim Bullamore and Jen King

Dying to Know Day

It was a strange week in terms of my “hobby” of obituaries, as on Monday August 8th, it was Dying to Know Day, and on Tuesday August 9th, I spoke at a Probus Club meeting north of Brisbane.  My topic?  “Humour from the Grave”, about writing one’s own obituary.

Talking death, obituaries and all end of life things can be a little confronting for people, especially seniors, but despite a couple of minor technical issues, it went well.

One of the aims of Dying to Know Day, is to encourage people to prepare for the end of life.  When will it happen?  That’s the hard question, and it seems like not everyone is ready.  The latest statistics are that around 60% of Australians have wills, and surprisingly those statistics are better then the USA and the UK.

But there’s more to this prep than just wills.  And I don’t see it as “morbid” but I like to encourage folk to write their own story – even if it is only 300 – 500 words.  Do you family all know the key points of your life?  Do they know all your great achievements?  Or stories you’d like to be remembered by?

If you have ever had to deal with the death of a close family member, trying to get their story and photographs is a huge task, as you are arranging the funeral and other farewell events.  So why not do it yourself?  Can you add some humour?  The right humour can lighten the mood at the time of one’s death.  Sometimes it has an amazing result!

Have you got all your final plans in order?